Today I went to the White Castle by the Empire State Building for lunch. Being one of five people who actually showed up at work today, I figured I deserved a treat.
As I'm finishing my meal while reading a couple comic books, I cough and bring up some mucous. I'll spare you the details, but I figured the cheap napkins they have at WC would not do the job and deside use an empty White Castle box to contain my expectorent.
After doing so, I go back to reading my comic. I hear a voice near my saying, "That's nasty. Oooh, that's nasty what you done. You shouldn't do that."
It takes me a few seconds and I realize that the woman two tables over is talking to me. I glance over and see one of those old bitties that you see in the city, she's so old you can't really tell if she's black or white any more.
Against my better judgement, I look at her and ask, "What?"
"That's nasty what you did. You shouldn't do that."
Instead of telling her to go to hell, or ignoring her, I replied, "Well, what should I have done?"
"You should use a napkin."
"Well, they are both paper containers. What difference does it make?"
"A nice young man like you, you shouldn't do that. It's gross."
I'm pretty confused at this point. I'm torn between politely engaging her in determining the proper parameters of gobbing in public and asking her why the fuck she's watching me.
"You should not do that. But you probably have a cold. You should use a napkin. Next time."
"Is that what I should do? That's what you think?" I say without any malice as I collect my trash and get up to leave.
"Yes, that's the right thing to do. The other way is nasty."
"Uh-huh"
So I toss my trash, and walk out. She's sitting in the window so I pass her as I leave and walk up the street. She kind of smiles and gives me a nod and I look straight at her and give her the finger.
Fuck you crazy old lady. Mind your own fucking business. Someday somebody is going beat your ass.
