Last Saturday Night I was at Maxwells to see my friends the Demands and the A-Bones reunion. Shows like these are alot of fun, not just cause of the bands, but because it brings out a lot of people I have not seen in a long time.
They also suck, cause they bring out a lot of people I have not seen in a long time.
My bandmate, Larry, drove over and we got there in time for dinner. The staff were nice enough to place us next to some friends of ours, Annie, her husband Andy and her brother Arndt. Annie was very complimentary cause she'd come out the week before to see the Subway Surfers big Maxwells debut and was saying how impressed she was with our guitarist and my singing (as she's known me for about 10 years and had never heard me sing). Arndt, her brother, was also saying how he heard we were good, cause he had not made it out that night.
Arndt used to be in Sawney Bean with Larry and original Surfers were comprised of the me, the SB rhythm section and a new guitarist. These days Larry is the only remaining link to the SB days. I spoke to Arndt at Maxwells a few years ago and he was under the misconception that the Subway Surfers "stole [his] band" when in reality Sawney Bean had been broken up for at least a year when we started.
Anyway, even if he wasn't a recreational drug abuser, Arndt would still be a mental midget and emotionally stunted. And to top it off, he tends to drink to excess and mix all sorts of bad stuff. Last time I'd seen him at Maxells he passed out at my feet while ordering another drink, and they had to call the paramedics.
Yeah, I hope my mom doesn't read this and find out about the folks I hang out with.
Long story short, I'm talking to another dude on the risers on the side of the room, and Arndt comes up and kicks me in the balls, cause he thought it would be funny.
As men know, there is a short lull in between the time you get and the wave of PAIN that hits you. In that time, I just stared at him, slackjawed and asked "Whhhhhy????"
Now, I don't lose my temper that often, so I am really bad at it when I do. I knocked his beer out of his hand, smacked the back of his head and was THIS close to breaking his glasses in half, when I regained composure, cause I knew if I broke his glasses we'd end up fighting and both get kicked out. I was betting that he has retard strength, too, and I would likely lose.
Instead he starting apologizing and talking a mile a minute about "itdidntgothewayithoughtitwouldsorrysorrysorry". I made him buy me more beer and shots of Jameson. He ordered a shot for himself. I took it away from him and drank it. "None for you!" and ordered him out of the room. I sat on the bar stool with a cold beer against my nuts for the next 15 minutes.
I never got an adequate explanation of how he thought kicking me in the nuts was going end in such a way that I would think it was funny. However, do you think it might have something to do with the fact that my band played Maxwells last week, something he could NEVER do? Hmmm...could be.
Yeah, another "friend" to add to the list of people that are dead to me. That's two this year.
On the positive side, I figure if I'm careful, it's probably going to be at least another 10 years before I get kicked in the nuts again.
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